A volatile stock market, unpredictably disastrous weather, home mortgage crises and tightening credit crunch all add up to increasingly difficult home environments. Some of the most at-risk members of our population include pregnant and postpartum mothers. They are already coping with tremendous hormone and brain chemistry changes, and have a biological imperative to establish a safe haven for their new charges.

Unstable world environments can make the creation of a stable home life impossible, ramping up stress and wreaking havoc in parent’s minds and bodies. A stressed mother equals a stressed baby, but the reverse is also true. Helping a new mother feel more secure will have a positive effect on the baby as well. Here are some tips to cope with difficult times:

1. Focus on the Present. It may be tempting to think about the list of problems stretched out ahead of you. This will only lead to a downward mental spiral. Instead, ask yourself if you and your baby or child are safe for the moment. If you are, take a deep breath and allow a moment of gratitude. If not, do whatever you need to do to get the two of you into a safe environment and take it one day at a time.

2. Be Honest. Ignoring your emotions or hiding your feelings can work against you. Whether you are mad, sad, glad, scared or some confusing combination of these, please know that it is O.K. for you to feel whatever is going on inside.

3. Make a Connection. You may not know it yet, but you are in good company. Reaching out to others and sharing your story can bring healing and comfort. Sometimes this is possible face to face, but other options are available. Consider connecting with an online support group. Knowing that just a single person or small group cares about you, even if they are long distance, can provide strength for you to carry on.

4. Nurture Yourself. Ask yourself what you love with each of your senses. What do you love to hear? What do you love to taste? What do you love to feel? What do you love to smell? What do you love to see? Write your answers down, and be creative. Spa days, massages and fancy dinners are great, but the object here is to find small but meaningful ways to nurture yourself every day. You may be surprised to find the variety of simple, inexpensive ways to bring pleasure through multiple senses. A cup of favorite tea or coffee can nourish your sense of taste, smell, touch, and even sight if you take the time to focus and enjoy it. Stroking a cat or dog can be tremendously soothing, nourishing your sense of touch and bringing a sense of connection at the same time. It is possible to become aware of beauty even in some of the harshest environments.

5. Attend to the Basics. You need to eat, sleep, breathe and drink water every day. Remembering these small, simple steps will increase your your health and vitality when you need it the most.

6. Ask Others for Help. This is no sign of weakness. On the contrary, you prove your competence by asking for help for yourself and your family when you need it. Do you need help finding information, food, housing, resources, or a supportive network? People might not know what you need unless you tell them. Don’t let your pride interfere. Give yourself permission to ask for help and increase your chances of finding the resources you need.

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Passover is coming and as usual, I’m both excited and nervous about it. Excited because Passover is one of my favorite holidays of the year. Nervous because it falls on me to set the overall message and presentation of the celebration.

When is Passover 2009? Dates of Jewish Holidays – Pesach Date

In 2009 Passover begins at sundown on Wednesday April 8 and ends at nightfall on Thursday April 16 in the Diaspora (Wednesday April 15 in Israel).

Because we are not Jewish, we weren’t raised with any concept of Passover. Nor do we have years of family tradition surrounding it to adhere to. Instead, we’ve kind of made it up as we went along. You could maybe identify “seasons” to our Passover celebration.

For instance when the kids were small, it definitely took on a character of being geared around them specifically. Then there were several years where we celebrated it with our whole Sunday School/youth group class. (Those were more like an exercise in controlled chaos.)

Last year I pretty much threw out most of what we’d done in the past and drew upon elements and traditions that I’d only just learned about. So this year I’ve yet to decide whether this year too is to be an upheaval, whether to return to past traditions, or whether to build on what was started last year.

Each year I try to take stock of where the family is at in every facet and then go to God with it to determine what needs to be emphasized that year. Its an awesome and humbling responsibility to undertake. Particularly if you try ti get real honest with where the family is at at that specific point in time.

For me Passover is as much about the preparation as it is about the celebration itself. But maybe that’s exactly how it should be. I nervously await where this year’s might go.

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A child’s 1st birthday is a joyous occasion, which lives in the memories of the proud parents forever. However, the majority of kids won’t remember anything about this fine day, but do enjoy looking at the birthday photos later on.

Here’s one way to make this special 1st birthday occasion into a stylish memento. Instead of putting these pictures into a photo album along with all the others, buy a special photo album dedicated to this first year of life, culminating in the 1st birthday party. This also makes a terrific gift idea to present to the parents.

So what goes into this keepsake photo album? Most parents takes hundreds of pictures of their children in the first year. Begin your commemorative 1st birthday party photo album with all of the pictures you’ve taken since birth ” consider the size of the photo album which will accommodate the number of pictures! Try to arrange them in sequence, which is easy if you’ve dated them on the back. The 1st birthday party photos go at the end.

If you’re wielding the camera, look sharp! These photos can be treasures! Two photos of our daughter’s 1st birthday has given us all plenty of laughter over the years. We seated her in her high chair, birthday hat and all, placing the birthday cake in front of her. We captured her look of shock and delight on film as she viewed this chocolate concoction. She promptly embraced the cake ” with her face and hands! Following a sampling, she sat up to show her chocolate covered face, smiling as big as you please. Lucky we’d already sung ‘Happy Birthday‘ blown out and removed the candle before she got to the cake! These pictures are the standouts of that 1st birthday party!

Keep a log of all the gifts and gift givers and include this information along with a photo of each gift. As kids get older, particularly around the age of seven or eight, they seem to enjoy knowing who attended their 1st birthday party and were thoughtful enough to give them a gift.

Don’t throw that wrapping paper and ribbon away! Cut small squares of each wrapping and a bit of ribbon, giving each a place in your 1st birthday party album. When you think how much styles, designs and materials change over a 20 year period, these little pieces of ‘antiquity’ will provide a peek back in time when your child’s all grown up.

Last, but not least, is the birthday outfit. This is usually very special and doesn’t get worn out. While it won’t fit in your photo album, this is an outfit you’ll want to save. Sure, you’ll have photos, but there’s nothing like the real article. You might want to wrap it in gift paper and use double-sided tape to attach it to the front or back of the album cover.

Now you’ve got a stylish 1st birthday party memento that can make a beautiful 21st birthday party gift. Think of the pleasure your grandchildren will derive from this lovely ‘antique’.

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Whether a parent admits it or not, he or she will need babysitting services at some point. In order to keep oneself mentally and emotionally healthy, it is important that parents get some quality time for themselves. Whatever your circumstance, you want to be certain your loved ones are well taken care of in your absence. A babysitter can be of huge assistance, as long as you hire an individual who is experienced, mature, reliable and who genuinely cares about the well-being of your children.

Secret To Finding A Good Baby Sitter

The major concern is finding a qualified babysitter. Begin your search as soon as possible. If you put it off until the last minute, you may overlook some very important factors, which can possibly lead to your kids being with an unreliable and even dangerous person. So if you are planning on a short trip with your spouse for instance, make sure you prioritize searching for a trusted and professional sitter way ahead of time.

One of the best options is to find a reputable agency that offers several options for very busy parents. For instance, there are good online agencies out there that offer options for those who need quick babysitter services for the mean time. If you already trust an agency, chances are you will be able to trust the babysitter they have in their database.

Referrals from family, neighbors, friends, and colleagues are also helpful. This is a good starting point so you get an idea of what to look for in a baby sitter. Of course, do not fully rely on these recommendations. You have some other things to consider first to make sure you have someone who can work best with your children.

The internet can also be a very helpful tool. Conduct a search with a reputable online agency. You should be able to find qualified sitters in your area. The agency should provide a database of pre-screened babysitters. It is recommended that you hire certified sitters who have had classes run by your local Red Cross or YMCA. Remember, babysitter services with an insurance bond will cover particular damages or losses to your property, however, not generally to protect your kids in any way. Find out if the babysitter service performs criminal history background checks and screens the sitters in their database or staff.

Secret To Interviewing Potential Candidates

More than being formal, it is only right to make each candidate comfortable before every interview. The more comfortable he or she is, the more natural and genuine his or her response to your questions. Provide basic amenities such as a comfortable chair and a good, quiet environment to conduct the interview. Ask as many questions as you can, but those that are relevant and pertaining to the job expected. Try not to ask questions that are too invasive or personal.

Ask what is already provided in the resume, but also to expound on the details. Basic inquiries such as past experiences, training, certifications and fees are a given. Ask situational questions, such as, what would you do? Finally, conduct trials and be around to observe.

Secret To Finding An Online Babysitter Service

There are just a few things to consider here. Check on the reputation first and foremost. Make sure you understand the terms and conditions and the membership fee schemes. Also, find out what specific services are offered. The more options you have, the better.

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There are some surely well meaning people, who think that teen abstinence is a concept that this raging hormone group will adopt, just because it’s what they’re told to do. If they won’t clean their room, what makes you think they’re going to accept the teen abstinence directive? It’s like asking a bird not to fly, a dog not to bark or the wind to cease. If you think this will work, then you are the one with your head in the sand. Ostriches don’t fly, BTW. So, what works?

Educating teens is the answer. Remember, this is the age group that disputes the necessity of almost everything that’s good for them! However, this doesn’t mean that a few salient facts won’t get through. Guilt may be induced through moral avenues of argument, but there are some hard-hitting facts and reasons that will give them pause, when nothing else does.

Moral and religious arguments may carry some weight while you’re talking, but in the heat of the moment, kids are not thinking of that chat. This is where the concept of teen abstinence is about the furthest idea from their mind. It’s not that kids don’t want to go along with the idea, they simply don’t have the discipline, experience or inclination.

A more practical approach yields a better measure of success. For example, some parents are reluctant to talk to their teens about sexual matters. They don’t know how to bring up the subject naturally. There are websites which give parents ideas on how to talk to kids about sex. Take a look at some of these and find an approach which is comfortable for you and your child.

A fact-finding perspective can be most valuable. You may cringe at the thought of talking about STDs, AIDS and teenage pregnancy. This is an outdated attitude. However unfortunate, kids know all about the sexual mores actually in practice, from their classmates. Teen culture doesn’t have a lot of adherents to teen abstinence. This is the blind leading the blind.

Today, there are a number of sexually transmitted diseases which can cause problems for a lifetime. According to current statistics, fully 20% of our population is afflicted with herpes! While medication is available to help manage this disease, there are significant risks associated with taking the medication, with no guarantee of not infecting their partner. AIDS is incurable and can be transmitted through a single sexual encounter. As for pregnancy, a teen is simply not emotionally equipped to be a parent ” not yet. If you talk to your teenager on a purely practical level, it won’t be hard to convince them that life will change radically and for their lifetime.

You may be shocked to know that most teens can relate to the responsibilities and constraints parenthood presents. More than likely, they know someone who is a teenage parent and are well aware of how that friend’s life is changed by an imprudent moment and lack of discipline.

Promoting teen abstinence requires that you, the parent, get a reality check. Do a little research and lay it all out for them to digest. Kids do have common sense. It’s up to you to structure the facts so that it’s irrefutable, morals and religion notwithstanding. Now the issue of teen abstinence still inserts the moral or religious element, with an indisputable host of real-life reasons that stick.

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Funny how different seasons of emotions hit each individual at a different time. Must be some sort of trigger that sets it off. I got hit with empty nest type pangs last time our oldest left home. My wife is going through the same thing this time.

Understand we aren’t even empty nesters yet at all. We’ve still got a sixteen year old at home with a couple years of high school left. We have two in college only sixty miles away that make frequent visits if only to do their wash, raid the fridge, and hang out with their little brother. Regardless, family life and family dynamics just aren’t what they were when we had a house full.

So I guess what we’re talking about is pre empty nest syndrome. Or perhaps we are just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and projecting what that day will be like.

Its not the big things you see yourself missing either. Its the spontaneous little conversations that might or might not be about anything consequential at all. The ad hoc, spur of the moment Starbucks runs. Picking up on all the moment to moment changes.

I guess what I’m talking about is the ongoing flow of life. Without daily contact family life quickly becomes a series of snapshots: This is what I did last week. Here is what I’ll be doing next week. Instead of the movie like constant stream of updates that comes with living together.

My wife and I always laugh about a catch phrase of our generation; “quality time.” The wife always hypothosizes that the notion was invented by over busy, career driven parents or perhaps divorced ones.

Instead, we always valued quantity time. The big things, the vacations, the events are great. However its the little in between things that act as the glue to keep relationships together.

But that phase of life seems to be coming to an end for us now. With all four kids heading in different directions, there can’t possibly be that same level of contact with each and every one of them. And maybe that’s just how it should be.

We’ll move on to whatever it is lies ahead. What other options are there? But forgive us a moment if we mourn the ending of what is passing away.

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Since I don’t have any daughters of my own, I tend to go a little crazy spoiling my niece. Unlike my sons who began playing PlayStation and Xbox before they were five, my niece still enjoys age-appropriate toys like plush animals and dollies.

Thankfully, she’s taking her sweet time growing up, and is in no particular hurry to move on to Barbies or Bratz. There’s something wonderful about this short, sweet stage — not too young, but not too grown-up, either. Her absolute favorite toys right now are her Polly Pocket dolls. And with her birthday just a few short weeks away, I’m going to do a little comparison-shopping and see if we can’t add to her ever-growing collection.

For those of you not “in the know,” Polly Pocket dolls are fabulous little plastic figures that are incredibly well accessorized. Polly Pocket dolls are about half the size of a typical Barbie, and like Barbie, they’ve got an outfit for just about every occasion. Some of the clothes are rubber, and some are magnetic — it just depends on your taste. Strangely enough, the fact that these little gals are sometimes quite a challenge to dress does absolutely nothing to dampen my niece’s enthusiasm. She and her friends will spend hours just changing them from one outfit to the next, all the while chatting and humming happily without a care in the world.

Another great thing about Polly Pocket dolls is that they aren’t just about clothes. In fact, there’s a whole range of accessories and playsets to help keep the fun going. They’ve got their own swimming pools (my niece absolutely loves her Ultimate Pool Party Playset), their own world of four-legged friends (see the Totally Trendy Pets Paw Spa Playset), and even their own forays into the world of international travel and haute couture (thus the latest So Hip Cruise Ship Travel in Style Fashions)! Polly Pocket dolls even have their own airplanes — all the better to jet on over to a friend’s house for a play date.

Obviously, you can head to your local toy stores to buy Polly Pocket dolls in a pinch, but I think there’s nothing like shopping on the Internet to really get a feel for the massive selection that’s out there. I could have spent hours on the web just looking at all the different playsets and accessories! In fact, the hardest part about buying Polly Pocket dolls online is going to be choosing just one (or even a few) from all the different kinds available. At least I know that no matter which one I end up purchasing, my niece will love it and derive countless hours of enjoyment from this fun, affordable gift.

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Encouraging Words to Improve Family Life and Build Self-Esteem
By Louise Hart

Never in the history of human procreation has parenting been easy. It comes naturally, to be sure, but juggling the needs of a family is anything but simple. Feeding, cleaning, and clothing can be stressful enough, but when you add the responsibilities of a home, a spouse, and a job, the challenge often seems overwhelming. Fortunately, the juggling act that parenting requires can call forth coping skills and creativity that we didn’t know we had.

One hundred thousand years or so ago, a typical mom would be “stirring the soup with one hand and rocking the baby with the other, kicking off the woolly mastodon with one foot and rocking a cradle with the other, watching out for the return of the hunters and determining with the other on which cave wall she would paint a magical bison…” (Jean Houston). That was in the days before ballet lessons, birthday parties, soccer practice-and the demands of a job. No matter how you slice it, parenting is a lot of work.

My German immigrant parents were hard workers. Papa was a sheet metal worker whose hands were as hard as shoe leather. His life reflected his deepest belief: “Arbeit macht das Leben süess.” Work makes life sweet.

My mother managed a household of eight people, which required a strict schedule. Monday was washday. She washed the clothes in the basement and then she hung them on the lines in the yard. If it rained, she had to take them down and re-hang them in the basement. Tuesday was ironing day. She could iron a shirt in three minutes flat! On Wednesday she mended clothes. On Thursday she changed bed sheets and cleaned upstairs. On Friday she cleaned the downstairs. Saturday was shopping day. She also baked bread and made soup stock for the week. On Sunday, after church, she cooked a pot roast or chicken for dinner.

But something very important was missing in our home: emotional warmth and appreciation. My parents had not received affirmation and appreciation when they were young, and they didn’t know how to give it. Words of criticism slipped out of their mouths more easily than words of gratitude. Yet positive words would have added sweetness to our family life and increased everyone’s self-esteem.

I remember returning home as a teacher, eager to show my mother a beautiful maternity dress I had made. Opening the door, she gave me a quick glance saying, “You have a spot on your dress.” Her thoughtless criticism hurt me deeply. Sadly, because of her mindset, she missed seeing the beauty of the garment and couldn’t sense my feeling of triumph. Another opportunity for mother-daughter closeness and shared joy was lost.

When people suffer “appreciation deprivation,” their self-esteem sags. They may feel resentful, or they may complain about how hard they work and how ungrateful everyone is. Everyone suffers as a result of these negative feelings.
Here’s the good news: Appreciation and encouragement can change the emotional climate in your home. Here are 10 words and phrases you might use:

1. “Thanks for setting the table.”

2. “I’m glad you remembered to brush your teeth.”

3. “I like how you share toys with your friend.”

4. “I appreciate what you do.”

5. “I’m glad you’re my son/daughter/partner.”

6. “You’re fun to play with.”

7. “That was a good try.”

8. “You are so thoughtful!”

9. “I like the way you listen.”

10. “You’re terrific!”

When you look for the good stuff and comment on it, you can actually increase it! That’s because, what you look for you find, and what you focus on expands. And according to brain research, emotions are contagious. Therefore, while criticism and hurtful words increase negative feelings, gratitude and kindness increase positive feelings, reduce tension, and sweeten relationships.

Instead of giving ourselves critical and unkind messages-”stinkin’ thinkin’-we can use positive messages in our self-talk. Tell yourself what you would like to hear. “Good for me!” “The dinner was delicious!” “I’m a good mom/dad.” You might even give yourself a pat on the back. It’s also okay to ask for what you want: “I worked very hard today and would like a hug, a thank you, or, applause.” Don’t miss opportunities to give kind, positive messages to others. Relationships are happier when couples frequently give each other appreciation and gratitude for their contributions. Your kids will notice those positive messages and do the same, learning pro-social skills in the process.

Little changes can make a big difference. When we are gracious, we focus on what’s right rather than what’s wrong. We look at what we do have rather than what we don’t have. When you count your blessings and sprinkle your days with appreciation, you will notice joy increasing in your family.

© 2008 Dr. Louise Hart is Community Psychologist, parent educator, grandmother and author of two books:

• On the Wings of Self-Esteem: Jack Canfield (author of Chicken Soup for the Soul) said: “It’s a wonderful book! If everyone in America read this book and did the recommended exercises, half of all the pain and suffering we now experience would disappear.”

• The Winning Family: Increasing Self-Esteem in Your Children and Yourself, a guide to Positive Parenting, praised by Dr. Barry Brazelton.

For more information, or to sign up for her free newsletter, visit http://www.drlouisehart.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Louise_Hart
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Remember the Disney cruise we went on? You know that multi thousand dollar vacation we paid for by refinancing the house a few years back? It was great wasn’t it? It truly was. I could probably bore everyone beyond the immediate family with stories from the trip for days on end. And the neat thing is my stories would be different from every other family members stories. That’s what makes it so fun to get to reminiscing sometimes like at family gatherings. The sort of reminiscing that is a favorite part of family life for me personally. Everyone has their own little piece to contribute. Right from the four hour delay on the flight out through the space shuttle take off we witnessed as we waited for the plane ride home, it was fantastic. Now an indelible slice or our family life pie.

Making memories through doing things and going places is something we learned some years back so we have quite a few of them. One particular favorite of mine is taking family vacations instead of doing the Christmas present extravaganza. We didn’t do it every year but I fondly remember the times we did. If you ask me, we could have done even more than we have. The vacation memories last long after the presents are discarded and forgotten.

But here’s the thing: Vacations and memory making episodes don’t have to be mega-dollar extravanganzas like that Disney vacation was. If you can afford those and even more expensive ones, more power to you. But you know what? Even the simple family fishing or camping trip, or trip to the city or to the country or to the beach or to the mountains or ballgame or whatever it is your family enjoys does equally well.

We live a few hours drive from the Black Hills area of South Dakota. When the kids were still little, we discovered a silly, kitschy little campground there called “Flintstone Village” with flat painted Flintstone figures, tiny train ride, and worn out putt putt golf holes. (Not a full course mind you, just a couple of holes.) Our kids loved it and therefore so did we. And it was cheap for us! Not something we had to go into hock to afford. We just packed up our crappy camping stuff, drove a couple hundred miles, and paid a few dollars entrance.

Did I ever tell you the story of taking the kids to the midget car races while we were staying at Flintstone Village in South Dakota. Well, you see…

Grandma, Mom and me

I love my mom. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Most people do. Yet I suspect I’m also in an overloaded life raft of folks who dread visiting their aging parent. Not much to talk about. Not much to report. Too many prying questions you’d rather not answer. Too many repetitions. Yet I’ve chosen  to live in the same town most my adult life. So I feel obligated to stay close but I might ignore more than the good son or daughter who lives at a distance. (Case in point, my sister who lives 60 miles further away but is much more of a constant in Mom’s life than I am.)

Speaking of repetitive stories, those same stories I’ve heard dozens of times and tuned out hundreds more are ones I’ve encouraged my Mom to write down or record somehow for years to no avail. Once she’s gone though, all those stories go with her.

Here lately I’ve come up with a great idea that at once gets the stories I know and many I don’t recorded for posterity and makes our visits more fun for both of us than they’ve been for years. How? Well, I bought one of those scanner/printer combinations and parked it at my Mom’s house. Every week I try to make time to visit taking my laptop with me. I scan some of the old pictures she has in albums and on walls. Then as I edit them slightly at the kitchen table, she will go on and on telling stories the pictures bring to mind. I type them into the caption of the picture (using Picasa from google) asking follow up or clarification questions as necessary. Doing this, the time just flies by and yet our visits are much longer than they were before.

When I’m all done with the pictures, (which could literally take years at this rate) I plan on turning the collection into books for all immediate family members through a site like mypublisher.com. In the meantime though, I post weekly updates of that week’s  pictures over at our family website at geni.com for all the family to enjoy. I’ve gotten positive comments from several family members for what I’m doing.

But the point isn’t the pats on the back. The point is that I’ve found something that rekindles a stagnant relationship and records a bit of family history that will soon otherwise be only a vague memory in our family life. I recommend it to any of you faced with a similar situation.