family life

Funny how different seasons of emotions hit each individual at a different time. Must be some sort of trigger that sets it off. I got hit with empty nest type pangs last time our oldest left home. My wife is going through the same thing this time.

Understand we aren’t even empty nesters yet at all. We’ve still got a sixteen year old at home with a couple years of high school left. We have two in college only sixty miles away that make frequent visits if only to do their wash, raid the fridge, and hang out with their little brother. Regardless, family life and family dynamics just aren’t what they were when we had a house full.

So I guess what we’re talking about is pre empty nest syndrome. Or perhaps we are just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and projecting what that day will be like.

Its not the big things you see yourself missing either. Its the spontaneous little conversations that might or might not be about anything consequential at all. The ad hoc, spur of the moment Starbucks runs. Picking up on all the moment to moment changes.

I guess what I’m talking about is the ongoing flow of life. Without daily contact family life quickly becomes a series of snapshots: This is what I did last week. Here is what I’ll be doing next week. Instead of the movie like constant stream of updates that comes with living together.

My wife and I always laugh about a catch phrase of our generation; “quality time.” The wife always hypothosizes that the notion was invented by over busy, career driven parents or perhaps divorced ones.

Instead, we always valued quantity time. The big things, the vacations, the events are great. However its the little in between things that act as the glue to keep relationships together.

But that phase of life seems to be coming to an end for us now. With all four kids heading in different directions, there can’t possibly be that same level of contact with each and every one of them. And maybe that’s just how it should be.

We’ll move on to whatever it is lies ahead. What other options are there? But forgive us a moment if we mourn the ending of what is passing away.

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